Almost 35 & Far From Feeling Fine

When you’re about to be slap bang in your mid 30s, you should have it together and be the role model and inspiration to all the youths around you. Instead, your pet tortoise has more of a life than you and that flat pack coffee table from IKEA is more together than you can ever wish to be.

Where did it all go wrong?? Well let me tell you huns. This generation as we know is the last to have played outside, grown up without social media (thank fuck) and we used our imaginations instead of being glued to YouTube watching someone watch someone else playing a computer game. WHAT!?!

We are told to grow up get a steady job that need to turn into a career, get a mortgage and have a good energy provider. Well I am sorry to say Susan but that just isn’t how our cookies crumble. There are very few amazing jobs that we want to be in forever. Sure, I’ll get a mortgage but I sure as hell won’t be getting the million pound deposit they require these days and don’t even get me started on the prices of electricity. I want to charge my phone not buy a time share in the Bahamas.

We have the generation before us calling us lazy and the generation behind calling us stupid. Umm, trying to bring back low rise jeans, that is stupid huns.

This is where I find the issue is, we are in limbo. Stuck between a rock and a very hard place that keeps sneaking up on you like some kind of unwanted memory from that night out where you got shitfaced and ruined your life…. again.

We are trying to be happy, maintain a social life, have a job we love whilst dealing with crippling anxiety, a sore back and student loan debt. Just not paying it like.

The people want us to grow up and be an adult whilst we still hold on to the horror that we are almost 35 with none of things you thought you would have at 35 or what society tells us we should have. Bore off babes.

I mean Gerard Butler was supposed to have been tapity tapping at my front door whisking me off my feet by now. Where you at hun?

The world is different now and it will be again in five years. It’s fucking hard out here in these streets huns and we really need to give ourselves a break. We are doing the best we can and if that’s not good enough for Susan, then she can F off. Plus, we all know IKEA coffee tables will get wobbly or fall apart anyways, especially if there’s a screw loose 😝